Beyond the Binary
Behold our frames hanging in empty echoes,
It scares and scars me to call them memories,
The faint smell of burnt incense sticks,
Much like my allure, resplendent yet hollow,
The ominous strike of the bed-side clock,
Engulfing reminders of life’s ticking grays,
The deafening silence of the wee-hours,
Echoes my chunks of blur, persists I listen to it,
Will you my foe, “Fate”,
Tell me, why she couldn’t have overstayed her welcome?
I am afraid; my being is becoming more about me and less about you,
Like the atonal thunder that ensues the lightening,
My grief too traps me in alleys, the unreality of realities,
My mind pedals its way through your sheepish smiles,
You were always lost in an anxiety of your own,
Alas! I lay lost in depths of your mirage in unbroken gaze,
I hold on to the hazy recollection of our little banters,
Think not of sirens, not of the microbe that took over my cosmos,
All the battles you’ve won for us and we lost for you,
Why didn’t you tell me that not all fairy tales have happy endings?
The way you run in me, this winter is colder than I thought,
Oh the irony! Of orchestrating comfort in familial inconvenience,
Mortals proclaim time is a great healer, but is it?
Oh the irony! For the footprints are etched deeper with time,
Oft, the voices in despair don’t come back as whispers,
They come back as roars, roars of braving wilderness,
But, perhaps, you never truly left,
Will you tell me, you remember my visage?
You saw it all, My triumphs, My joys, and I was not alone?
Are you seeing me?
Through prisms beyond confines,
Tell me you are watching me in sojourns,
As the crows we fed, the cows we bathed,
As the rats that nibbled our parchments?
As the cats you feared once,
Or as a flickering light that glows like you?
I hear you calling out our endless sobriquet,
An escape from my bruised reality,
Finding comfort in infinities beyond the binary
Remember when you sliced off the toast crumbs?
Because I liked them that way,
Remember when you sang in great praise of my modest feats?
Because your dreams were one with mine,
I did not have to say anything then,
I do not have to say anything now,
Except perhaps,
I wish we could unravel all that we left unsaid,
I wish I could sandpaper my face in your cocoon,
And catch glimpses of you cheering for me, Amma!
